"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
