Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
