So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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