I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
