i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
