The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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