Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
