Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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