I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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