I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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