do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
