just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
