oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
