I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
