I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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