Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
