so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
