who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
