so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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