So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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