You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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