I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
