I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
