I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
