how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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