girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
