btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
