Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
