people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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