How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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