I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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