I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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