Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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