How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
