In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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