Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
