he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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