Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize