With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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