Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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