Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
