its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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