THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
