I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
