I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
