I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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