Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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