Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
