I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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