i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
